“Yet, all doctors will experience failure…[they] will from time to time suffer from the anxiety, shame, or fear associated with these events”
“So 6 weeks after writing Parts I and II, I’m sitting on a plane, over the Irish Sea returning home for the weekend. I’ve been meaning to get this finished for so long. Some of it was business, or tiredness but a lot of it was actually making sure I followed the disciplines I set during COVID.
- Talk to your wife every night for an hour, even if its just mindless drivel. It helps
- No matter how tired you are. Go for a walk and do your exercises
- Journal every night
- Eat good food
- Take up an activity ( I chose golf and I’m failing at it, but I like it)
- Do not let work over take your life ever again.
How am I doing 6 weeks in? Okay. I guess. I’m not working nearly as much as I did. Flights to and from home are a big factor in determining my work week. I have managed to work one week from home in the 6 I’ve been away. I only worked one weekend and I’m generally only doing 11 hours a day. I don’t take my computer home in the evening, which forces me to do other things. Its not perfect and its certainly not the 45 hours work weeks I dream of, but its heading in the right direction.
I am a lot happier and, yes I have had some awful days when I feel worthless and hate myself and everything around me. But I tell somebody about it.
I’m failing, I suppose we all are. But the difference now is….I don’t care if I fail, its part of growing and I won’t let the failure part of my career ever seep into the more important parts of my life, my family, my friends, my time. I suppose in that sense I’ve succeeded.
Thank you for reading. If there is one thing I have truly learnt about the last few months is. Talk and be honest with yourself. Your struggles are not personal, they seep into those around you. Pick up the phone to a friend, a family member. Talk to your significant other. Talk to a professional. But please talk. Take care and to borrow from my favourite TV Character…”Goodbye and Good Mental Health”.”